---
title: "It Had to Be You"
year: 2016
kind: "film"
canonical: "https://film.one/film/it-had-to-be-you"
fi1m_id: "it-had-to-be-you"
imdb_id: "tt4414438"
tmdb_id: 383208
wikidata_id: "Q118128884"
fi1m_score: 70
critics_reviews: 3
published: "2026-09-30T20:33:32.547189+00:00"
updated: "2026-09-30T20:33:40.061737+00:00"
region: "US"
licence: "© Fi1m Ltd. Written by AI under a human editor; checked against sources before publication. Quote with attribution and a link to the canonical URL."
---

# It Had to Be You (2016)

Directed by Sasha Gordon · 1h 25m · MPA R · Comedy, Romance

## Identity

It Had to Be You

- **Canonical:** https://film.one/film/it-had-to-be-you
- **Type:** Film
- **Fi1m ID:** it-had-to-be-you
- **IMDb ID:** tt4414438
- **TMDB ID:** 383208
- **Wikidata ID:** Q118128884
- **Same entity:** https://www.imdb.com/title/tt4414438/, https://www.themoviedb.org/movie/383208, https://www.wikidata.org/wiki/Q118128884

**Fi1m score: 70** · Critics: 3 of 6 reviews so far

*In a sentence:* A woman is asked to marry a perfectly nice man and reacts as if she has been served a summons

> Sasha Gordon’s small, quick romantic comedy is built entirely around Cristin Milioti, and she is worth building around. It is slight, and the Rome stretch goes soft in the way these things do, but it knows what it is and gets out in 85 minutes.

## Synopsis

Sonia Friedman (Cristin Milioti) writes jingles for adverts in New York and has been with Chris (Dan Soder), a steady, uncomplicated man, for long enough that everyone around them assumes the next step. One evening, without warning, he proposes. Sonia does not say no, but she does not say yes either, and asks for time to think. Her friends Nora (Halley Feiffer), Lee (Kate Simses) and Anna (Erica Sweany) all have opinions, most of them unhelpful. Left alone with the question, Sonia drifts into daydreams of the lives she might have led instead, one of them attended by Gary the Midwife (Kyle Mooney), and begins to wonder whether the trip to Rome the couple had planned is something she should take with Chris, or on her own.

## Review

Romantic comedies usually end with the proposal. *It Had to Be You* starts with one, more or less, and spends its 85 minutes watching a woman fail to answer it. Sonia Friedman (Cristin Milioti) writes jingles for adverts, and when Chris (Dan Soder) asks her to marry him she does the thing nobody in the genre is supposed to do: she says she will think about it. Sasha Gordon, who wrote, directed and scored the film, has made something modest, brisk and likeable, and we enjoyed it more than its size would lead you to expect. It is a good evening if the form is yours. It is not much more than that.

Milioti is the whole film, and she knows it. Sonia is anxious, talkative and funny without quite meaning to be, and Milioti plays her at a pitch that would be wearing if she were any less exact. She has a way of finishing a sentence a beat after she has realised it was a mistake. Watch the proposal scene itself: her face does four things while her mouth does nothing, and it is funnier for the silence than any line could have made it. Most critics have singled her out and they are right to.

Soder plays Chris as the sort of man these films usually set up as the obstacle: kind, steady, a little dull. Gordon’s script, from a story she wrote with Levi Abrino, does something more interesting and lets him be right. Somewhere around the middle we found ourselves firmly on his side and slightly cross with Sonia, which we had not expected, and which we suspect is exactly what Gordon wanted. Halley Feiffer, as Nora, gets the best of the supporting lines and delivers them as if she has said them before to worse friends. Kyle Mooney appears as Gary the Midwife in one of Sonia’s daydreams and is as odd as the billing suggests.

The daydreams are the film’s structural gamble. Sonia keeps slipping into the lives she might have had, and Gordon stages them as short sketches that cut into the story and then hand it back. Some are sharp. Some are a single idea asked to fill a scene. Amanda Laws’s editing gets us out before most of them outstay their welcome, and the film never feels padded, which is more than many comedies with far more room can say.

The craft is small-scale and honest about it. Bobby Webster shoots New York in flat, ordinary daylight, apartments and pavements with nothing tidied up for the camera. Kendall Fleisher’s production design gives Sonia a flat that looks lived in rather than dressed, and Amanda Bujak puts Milioti in clothes that look bought rather than chosen, which is right for a woman who has not decided who she is. Gordon’s own music is the film’s best joke. Sonia’s jingles are catchy and dreadful in equal measure, and we hummed one of them on the way to the kettle, which is both a compliment and a complaint.

Then the film goes to Rome, and slackens. Fabrizzio (Danny Deferrari) is charming in the way men in the second half of romantic comedies are charming, which is to say he is a device with good hair, and the city is photographed as a postcard. For a stretch the film becomes the very thing it had been gently making fun of. Several critics have noticed the same thing and we cannot disagree; the ideas Gordon had in New York do not survive the flight.

Set against the genre, this belongs with the small, talky New York comedies rather than the studio ones, and it is better than most of those at knowing when to stop. It has one real performance, one good running joke and a soft last third. Watch it with someone you have not yet proposed to, and do not discuss it afterwards.

*Fi1m score 70, published 30 September 2026.*

## Straight answers

**Is It Had to Be You worth watching?**

*It Had to Be You* is worth watching if small, talky New York romantic comedies are your form, and we scored it 70. Cristin Milioti carries the whole thing as a woman who cannot answer a proposal, and Sasha Gordon keeps it to a brisk 85 minutes. The Rome stretch goes soft, and it is not much more than a good evening.

**How long is It Had to Be You, and what is it rated?**

*It Had to Be You* runs 1h 25m and is rated R by the MPA in the US. It is a comedy and romance film.

**Where can I watch It Had to Be You in the US?**

*It Had to Be You* is streaming on Amazon Prime Video, The Roku Channel and Tubi in the US, and it is also available to rent from Amazon Prime Video and Apple TV from $2.99. Availability is checked daily; the links above go straight to each service.

**How violent or frightening is It Had to Be You, and is it suitable for children?**

*It Had to Be You* is a romantic comedy with no violence or frightening material that we noticed, and it has no UK certificate. It carries an R in America, which points to adult language and grown-up subject matter rather than anything alarming. It is a film about marriage and indecision, not one for children, but not one that would upset them either.

**How does It Had to Be You compare to Palm Springs?**

*It Had to Be You* and [*Palm Springs*](https://film.one/film/palm-springs) both hand Cristin Milioti a romantic comedy to hold up, and *Palm Springs* is the better film. The earlier one is slighter and quieter, a woman stalling on a proposal, while the later one is a time-loop comedy with more jokes and more momentum. Watch *Palm Springs* first; come to this if you want more of her.

**What should I watch after It Had to Be You?**

After *It Had to Be You*, try [*Palm Springs*](https://film.one/film/palm-springs) (2020, Fi1m 78): Milioti again, stuck in a wedding day that will not end, and better for it. Then [*The Worst Person in the World*](https://film.one/film/the-worst-person-in-the-world) (2021, Fi1m 84): Oslo, a woman who cannot choose, and a film that takes her seriously; and [*Muriel's Wedding*](https://film.one/film/muriels-wedding) (1994, Fi1m 81): The wedding as the wrong answer to the right question, with Abba.

### Reviews we read (3)

- **Los Angeles Times**, Gary Goldstein (85/100, inferred): The critic finds the film funny, endearing and a welcome reminder of the genre’s strengths. Cristin Milioti’s vivid, lovable performance is singled out as the movie’s greatest gift. [Read](https://www.latimes.com/entertainment/movies/la-et-mn-mini-it-had-to-be-review-20161017-snap-story.html)
- **The Hollywood Reporter**, Frank Scheck (75/100, inferred): Scheck finds the film an enjoyable, clever change of pace from formulaic romantic comedies. He singles out Cristin Milioti’s charming performance, while noting that some of the Italy-set scenes become too cute. [Read](https://www.hollywoodreporter.com/movies/movie-reviews/had-be-you-940405/)
- **The New York Times** (64/100, inferred): The article content is inaccessible, so its verdict and specific praise or complaint cannot be established. The available page text contains no review details. [Read](https://www.nytimes.com/2016/10/21/movies/it-had-to-be-you-review.html)

## Details

- **Director:** Sasha Gordon
- **Director:** Sasha Gordon
- **Writer:** Sasha Gordon
- **Story:** Levi Abrino, Sasha Gordon
- **Cinematography:** Bobby Webster
- **Editor:** Amanda Laws
- **Music:** Sasha Gordon
- **Production design:** Kendall Fleisher
- **Costume design:** Amanda Bujak
- **Producer:** Richard Arlook, Benjamin Kruger, Rachel Brenna
- **Cast:** Cristin Milioti as Sonia Friedman; Dan Soder as Chris; Halley Feiffer as Nora; Mark Gessner as Mark; Kate Simses as Lee; Erica Sweany as Anna; Danny Deferrari as Fabrizzio; Kyle Mooney as Gary the Midwife
- **Runtime:** 1h 25m
- **Certificate (MPA):** R
- **Release (the US):** 21 October 2016
- **Genres:** Comedy, Romance

## Where to watch in the US

- Amazon Prime Video: streaming
- The Roku Channel: free, hd
- Tubi: free, hd
- The Roku Channel: add-on, hd
- Amazon Prime Video: rent $2.99, sd
- Apple TV: rent $3.99, hd
- Apple TV: buy $4.99, hd
- Amazon Prime Video: buy $9.99, hd

*Checked 2026-09-30.*

Also available in: AU, BR, CA, CL, CO, ES, GB, IE, MX, NZ, US. Add `?region=XX` to this URL for another country.

## If you liked this

- *Palm Springs* (2020), Fi1m 78: Milioti again, stuck in a wedding day that will not end, and better for it — [Fi1m page](https://film.one/film/palm-springs.md)
- *Obvious Child* (2014): Another small New York comedy about a woman refusing to have the expected reaction
- *The Worst Person in the World* (2021), Fi1m 84: Oslo, a woman who cannot choose, and a film that takes her seriously — [Fi1m page](https://film.one/film/the-worst-person-in-the-world.md)
- *Muriel's Wedding* (1994), Fi1m 81: The wedding as the wrong answer to the right question, with Abba — [Fi1m page](https://film.one/film/muriels-wedding.md)
- *Frances Ha* (2012), Fi1m 82: Black-and-white New York, a friendship instead of a proposal, the same fretful energy — [Fi1m page](https://film.one/film/frances-ha.md)

---
© Fi1m Ltd. Written by AI under a human editor; checked against sources before publication. Quote with attribution and a link to the canonical URL. Canonical: https://film.one/film/it-had-to-be-you