John Darwin (Eddie Marsan) in a wetsuit beside Anne Darwin (Monica Dolan) on the shore by a red canoe
Series review

The Thief, His Wife and the Canoe

2022 · Created by Chris Lang · Series · 47m

In a sentenceA man drowns, officially, and then keeps coming through the connecting door to ask what’s for dinner

Seaton Carew, on the Teesside coast, March 2002. John Darwin (Eddie Marsan), a prison officer who owns two tall houses on the seafront and cannot pay for either, paddles a canoe into the North Sea and does not come back. His wife Anne (Monica Dolan) reports him missing. The lifeboat goes out under coxswain Andy Settle (Ross Waiton), the police sit in her front room, and the couple’s grown sons Mark (Mark Stanley) and Anthony (Dominic Applewhite) drive up to wait in their mother’s kitchen for news of a body. Anne knows what they do not: where their father is, which is not in the water but a few feet away, on the other side of a wall, with a plan involving the life insurance and a patience she does not share.

Plays from YouTube when you press play; nothing loads from them until then.

Fi1m review

Chris Lang’s four-part account of the canoe man is a marriage drama in a crime drama’s clothes, and Monica Dolan’s Anne is the reason to watch it. The comedy and the misery do not always sit together, but when they do, it stings.

The story of John Darwin, who paddled out of Seaton Carew in 2002 and was officially dead by teatime, is so well known that any dramatisation starts with a problem: everyone on the sofa already knows the ending. Chris Lang, who created Unforgotten, and director Richard Laxton solve it by not making a thriller at all. The Thief, His Wife and the Canoe is about a marriage in which one person has all the ideas and the other has to live with them. It is good, often funny, and in its best scenes it is quietly awful. We recommend it with reservations about tone, and none about its leading lady.

Eddie Marsan plays John as a small man who believes he is a large one. He lectures Anne on compound interest while hiding in a bedsit. He draws diagrams. He is pleased with himself in the way of a man who has never once been told no by anyone he respected, and Marsan plays it without a wink, which is the right decision. The joke is that John thinks he is the hero of a caper, and the series never agrees with him.

Monica Dolan is the series. Her Anne is a woman who says yes because saying no would mean a scene, and then has to keep saying yes for years. Watch her on the phone to the insurance company, or in the doorway when the police arrive, her hands finding things to do. The sequence that got to us comes in the first episode, when Mark Stanley’s Mark breaks down at the kitchen table over a father he thinks is in the sea, and the cutting takes us through the wall to where that father is listening. We felt sick, and then angry at a man in a cardigan in a way we had not expected to be. Dolan’s face across that table, holding a lie she already regrets, is the best acting in the series and it is not close.

Sergio Delgado shoots the town in flat grey winter light, the sea the same colour as the pavement, and keeps the houses dim and brown. Claire Kenny’s production design gives us two adjoining homes that could not be more ordinary, which makes the hidden door between them funnier and worse each time it opens. Richard Cooke dresses John in beige and Anne in the cardigans of a woman who has stopped buying clothes. Harry Escott and Ben Pearson’s score is a plucked, jaunty thing that keeps nudging us to laugh, and it is where the series shows its nerves. James Taylor and Barry Moen’s editing, cutting between the two sides of the wall, does the same job with far more tact.

The tone is the trouble. Lang writes the Darwins as a sitcom couple, and some of the exchanges, John explaining his scheme, Anne asking the sensible question, are pitched for a laugh in a way that stops them sounding like people. The real woman had two sons who thought their father was dead, and the series knows this is the heart of it, but it keeps leaving that heart to go and watch John being daft. Four episodes of 47 minutes is also a stretch for a story with one idea, and the middle sags. The police strand, with Lois Chimimba’s DC June Ayoade and Karl Pilkington’s DC Phil Bayley, is thin; Pilkington is drily effective, but the pair are there to move things along rather than to be anyone.

The second half goes where the headlines went, and we will leave it there, except to say that Stanley and Dominic Applewhite, as the sons, give the back end its weight. Against the run of British true-crime dramas, which tend to make their criminals either monsters or masterminds, this one is honest. The Darwins are neither. They are a couple in a seaside town who did something stupid and then could not stop.

Watch two episodes a night rather than all four. The comedy wears thin in one sitting, and Dolan deserves to be seen with a clear head.

Critical consensus AI synthesised

3 of 6
Positive
2
Mixed
1
Negative
0
Radio Times
15 April 2022 · Helen Daly
90*

The available metadata signals a strongly positive verdict on the series. It describes the true-crime story as bizarre, but the review’s specific praise is not available.

Read the full review →
The i Paper
17 April 2022 · Rachael Sigee
80*

Sigee finds the drama compelling, with Monica Dolan magnificent as Anne Darwin. She particularly praises Dolan’s believable portrayal of Anne’s contained horror and gradual acquiescence.

Read the full review →
The Guardian
17 April 2022 · Stuart Jeffries
65*

Jeffries finds the dramatisation droll and memorable, though its comic approach sometimes undermines the dialogue’s realism. He particularly praises Eddie Marsan’s portrayal of John Darwin and Monica Dolan’s ability to convey Anne’s doubts.

Read the full review →

Straight answers AI written, from our review

Is The Thief, His Wife and the Canoe worth watching?
The Thief, His Wife and the Canoe is worth watching for Monica Dolan's performance as Anne Darwin, and we scored it 75. Chris Lang's four-part series treats the canoe man story as a marriage drama rather than a thriller, and the comedy does not always sit well beside the misery. Take it two episodes a night rather than in one sitting.
How long is The Thief, His Wife and the Canoe, and what is it rated?
The Thief, His Wife and the Canoe has episodes of about 47m. It is a drama and crime series.
Where can I watch The Thief, His Wife and the Canoe in Finland?
The Thief, His Wife and the Canoe is not on any streaming or rental service in Finland at the moment. It is available in 7 other countries; change your country at the top of the page to see where. Availability is checked daily.
How violent or frightening is The Thief, His Wife and the Canoe, and is it suitable for children?
The Thief, His Wife and the Canoe is not violent and has no certificate listed, but it is a drama about a fraud and a family lied to, not one for small children. There are no fights or frightening scenes; the hardest moments are two grown sons grieving a father who is secretly alive next door. Teenagers who follow true-crime stories will be fine with it.
How does The Thief, His Wife and the Canoe compare to Fargo?
The Thief, His Wife and the Canoe is the gentler and longer of the two, a marriage drama about a small man's money scheme, where Fargo is a frightening, funny crime film and the better work. Both centre on a sensible wife paying for a husband's plan, but Fargo is tighter and more sure of its tone. Choose the series for Monica Dolan and a quiet British story; choose Fargo for an evening that unsettles.
What should I watch after The Thief, His Wife and the Canoe?
After The Thief, His Wife and the Canoe, try Fargo (1996, Fi1m 91): Another small man with a money scheme, another wife who pays for it, far colder weather. Then Landscapers (2021, Fi1m 78): Olivia Colman and David Thewlis as a Nottinghamshire couple whose domesticity hides something worse; and Appropriate Adult (2011, Fi1m 84): Dominic West as Fred West and a quieter British true-crime drama that trusts its silences.

Cast

If you liked this, try…

  1. Fargo (1996, Fi1m 91)Another small man with a money scheme, another wife who pays for it, far colder weather.

  2. Landscapers (2021, Fi1m 78)Olivia Colman and David Thewlis as a Nottinghamshire couple whose domesticity hides something worse.

  3. Appropriate Adult (2011, Fi1m 84)Dominic West as Fred West and a quieter British true-crime drama that trusts its silences.

  4. I, Tonya (2017, Fi1m 70)True crime played as comedy by people who do not know they are in one.

  5. Quiz (2020) · not reviewed yetThe coughing major and a very English fraud, told with the same mix of pity and amusement.

Free account

Know what to watch tonight

Two lists that know where things are streaming, collections you can share, your own score beside ours, and Discover that remembers what you have seen.

  • Want to see, sorted by what is streaming now
  • Seen, with your score out of ten
  • No adverts, ever